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No one can accuse me of having low self esteem. I have always held myself in the highest regard. I have been doing a lot of self reflection, though, and I realized that some time in my life, I started telling myself I wasn’t good at stuff.
When did I spiral down this path of self sabotage and depreciation? I remember thinking, “I want to start a blog.” My immediate thought after was but you aren’t good at writing.
Since when? Says who? When had I started telling myself that? True or not, when did I start thinking to myself you suck at writing?
I had never had a negative experience in school about my writing. In fact, I was praised several times in different grades for reports and term papers and was in AP English. How did I lose confidence in my writing skill?
I started thinking back to when I could have started this behavior. Maybe someone influenced me and I did not realize it. It had been years of speaking that negative language to myself, but rather than try to justify it, I’m going to correct it.
This blog is one form of setting myself up for behavior modification. I’ve also started writing on different platforms.
What other areas of my life have I negatively impacted with my thoughts?
Even if I was the worst at everything, it doesnt have to stay that way. I can improve on anything with enough self discipline.
I’m glad I caught this early enough to do something about it but bothered that it’s an issue.
Do you tell yourself you aren’t good enough? What are you doing about it?